An Up And Down Week!

I have to say that this week was a very tough week emotionally. After the loss of my brother-in-law, I have just been kind of numb. Can't seem to stop myself from going up and down like a roller-coaster. I have a picture of him right beside my computer and believe it or not, I talk to him!







I keep thinking about what happened and just can't get to grips about how sad it is. Don't get me wrong, I am far from feeling sorry for myself, but.............I don't know what to say anymore, it is just so wrong what happened and I feel his loss everyday. People will say things and I will hear a line in a song, or I will see a couple walking along, so happy, and it just crushes me..........I miss my sister so much that it hurts and for the first time in a long time, I feel very lonely.............wish I could just drop round and give her a big hug and see the kids and my son and Mum and Dad. It is what it is, I know, but it would be nice if the world was a simpler place, or have I made it that complicated? See what I mean about how messed up my mind is this week!

I have not been sleeping very well at all, actually worse than I normally do, if that is possible.....lol. I have been having the weirdest dreams, most of which I cannot remember, but I just know they are weird. I know that this is all part of my grieving and getting on with my life, but if I feel this way, how do my sister and the kids feel? I cannot begin to understand the pain they must be enduring. I will end with the hope that we all find our way and be thankful that we had Nuri for as long as we did. I know it sounds very cliche, but how else can we get our heads around this? Anyway, enough of doom and gloom........I miss you, Nuri!xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

The rest of the week has been mad busy and apart from my brain feeling like it was going to jump out of my head, it has ended up being a productive week and I feel a lot more settled about things in school. There is just so much to absorb and I felt like I was cracking up at the start, but as I said, am feeling a bit more comfortable now. The amount of work is going to increase and as long as I keep organised and with the program, I will be fine. I will do this and that is all there is to it!





I started back at the gym with full workouts on Monday and must say I am so sore! It feels good, though. I have kept up with my running except for Wednesday when I was in bed for about 12 hours (a mix of depression and a run down body, I think!) I can't feel my arms today and just finished a 4km run. Have to push myself to the limit in all areas to keep my spirits up and also to just feel better physically.






The weekend approaches and I am striving to get all my work caught up by the end of it. The show with our Emma in it has been cancelled until next month, so I will not be meeting my cousins in town. Too bad! Could have done with the company.





Hopefully, one of the fellas from my class, John, will be coming over on Saturday and watching the game, either at my place or the pub up the road, and also we will help each other with some of the work that we have to do. The ICT is the biggest challenge for me. Although I like computers, this is all new territory for me and a lot of things to remember and my experience on Excel and Office is limited. I am getting better though.





I have included some pics of my campus, IM Marsh on Bexhill Road. It is a small campus, but very quaint and picturesque. I like it as it is only a 12 minute walk from my door to the campus. That beats the hour and a half each way that it will take me to get to my first placement school over on the Wirral......oh well, Seoul prepared me well for that, with 3 hours a day minimum on the subways and buses for over 2 years straight. This will be a piece of cake........lol. Another funny picture of Nina when she came to visit me in Liverpool. She had no umbrella, so the shirt had to do. We went to Anfield and visited The Hillsborough Memorial, too.

Second Week Of School Completed

The second week of school has already been completed and to be completely honest with you, it has flown by. I have learnt so much in just two weeks that it is mind boggling. It is so interesting to read all the research and theories about education, and it makes me realise how much work is going on behind the scenes to keep our national curriculum going and maintaining pace with the advent of all the new technology.

One of the things that has surprised me the most about teaching is the fact of how important computer skills have become now. It is part of the degree now, to be able to improve and achieve success in areas of ICT and to be

able to incorporate this in your lessons and overall scheme of plans for the students. I for one, am glad that I am going to be learn more about ICT each and every week. From Excel to Powerpoint, to using other software that I have never used, it is going to be a huge learning curve and I guess how big of a curve, is up to the individual.

I went on a test-run today to the school that I have been placed at. I wanted to see how long it would take me and it took me one hour from my house, to town, to Upton Station and then a 15 minute walk to the school. It is in a very nice area, so the walk, I am going to enjoy everyday. I met, Kate and Leyla, who are in my class, at Upton Station. Kate is going to be with me at the school. Then we went to Staples and got a few things for school.

I picked up a cordless keyboard and mouse, which helps a lot, as now my computer console can double up as a desk. All I do is move the keyboard and the mouse out of the way and also, there are no more cords in the way.

I start my placement on September 30th and am looking forward to it immensely. It is the start of my new career and the career that I have always dreamt of having. A secondary high-school language teacher!

Went to town last night Hannah's on Hardman St. and met a bunch of my classmates. Got a lift off John in my class (who is around the same age as me,) and a lift back. Only stayed for about an hour and a half. About 12 from the class showed up. I drank lime cordial, which cost a whopping 40 pence. I am sticking to my no-drinking policy and am determined to get healthier and healthier.

Had a look around Birkenhead Market and then back to town and Iceland shop to get some milk and salad. Then off home.

Went for a 4km run. Around the park once and then a little more around the corner from my house. Back home to have a kip and then tonight more swotting for my assignments and research for the papers.

Researching To Do A Poster!

Today was a very good day. We learnt a little more about finding our way to the resources on the web and were introduced how to do a poster about a specific issue about a certain subject. This is the formative task, which means it does not get marked, but is more like a practice run for us. We have one that we have to do individually in the middle of October.

Albert Dock....Liver Building hidden by the construction.

It is very interesting doing research and I am learning so much, all of the time. It is really neat to be realising that there is so much stuff that we don't know. Although it is very time consuming, the fruits of our education will be born all throughout the course.

I am in a group of four and we met to split the research up today after class. 2 of us are doing the academic career paths and routes for 14-19 year olds in language study and 2 of us are doing the non-academic paths and routes. We have to come up with referencing for books and articles and also have to do comparisons and reflections about the subject matter and use graphs and images along with text to make it look like a proper poster.

We are meeting at school tomorrow at 11am and spending some time organising the poster and filling in all the necessary information that we will all have gathered. I spent about 3 hours tonight finding information and sites and making notes to take to our meeting tomorrow. I also found some graphs and statistics that we can use in our poster.

Listened to the Champions League games on Sky Sports News and also watched a bit of the Utd game online. The Liverpool game is ITV on Wednesday, so I will be watching that. I had a chance to buy a ticket for the match, but turned it down, as I need to watch my money and also didn't want to see Liverpool play the Hungarian team. I prefer to see one of the better teams. I am determined to watch my money, that is one of my main goals over the next 10 months.

School, school and more school!

Well, my second week has started at school and there is more and more reading to do everyday. While it is very interesting, it is still a huge amount of work to digest and absorb. Oh well, no pain, no gain!

I have my first school placement. It is on the Wirral and it is called Ridgway High School. I will be there every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I have a girl, Kate, from my class, also going there, so it should be a good experience. I am looking forward to it.

My son turns 22 on Wednesday, September 16th. He was actually born on a Wednesday, too!

I miss him as always, but technology is brilliant, as I can talk to him on Facebook or on the phone or on Skype.

No worries there. I just found out that he is going to take cabinet- making at college. He has always been a hands-on type of fella and I wish him all the luck and happiness pursuing his future.

Monday is almost over and I have had a very constructive day. Did all of my reading for school and read some of my textbook that I got on the weekend. Also, messed around on the John Moores system and find out where different things were and how to use them.

Did my washing at the launderette and got a bit of shopping after I finished at the gym. I am feeling a bit sore after Saturday's workout, but today's workout was much better. Worked back and a bit of biceps. Going to run tomorrow. I am sticking to my healthy diet and am starting to lose a few pounds. Note the stress on a 'few' pounds.......lol.

Have a full day at school tomorrow and more challenges to face. Here's to having a brain that is working again.........love it!

Time to get blogging again!

Picture: The lovely sunset while we were scattering Uncle Tony's ashes at New Brighton beachfront

To all of my readers, the first thing I must do is to apologize. I have not been blogging for the at least the last 6 months with any regularity. I am going to try and fix that minor lull and hope to blo
g about my new adventures in Liverpool and all the ups and downs of doing my teacher's degree at John Moores University. I will continue to rant and rave about issues close to my heart, but cannot promise to be always politically correct. That is why it is called MY blog, haha.

The last few months have been nothing short of challenging. There have been deaths in the family and I have to say that emotionally, I have been all over the place. I could compare myself to the tide of the ocean. In and out and in and out and back in and back out again and again and again.

Uncle Tony died, Auntie Margaret died, my brother-in-law Nuri died and to tell you the truth, it all seems a bit of a blur when I talk about them dying. Dying is sadly a big part of everyone's life, but it is still so difficult to grasp and understand and it always ends up consuming a large part of your psyche, good and bad. Mortality is always at the forefront, especially in my case. Sometimes, I just put all the pain in the back of my brain, but sadly it always seems to come to the front eventually. I am dealing the best way that I can, but it takes time and I wish all my family and friends the strength and

perseverance to continue with their lives and challenge them to live life to the fullest as best they can.

Picture: The owners need to sell our club. Enough is enough

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Enough of doom and gloom, but in memory of my Uncle Tony and my brother-in-law, Nuri, I am putting a great picture of both of them together at last year's wedding. It personifies them both as happy men and that they were enjoying their lives. I unfortunately do not have any photos of Auntie Margaret, but will try sometime in the near future to obtain one from my cousins.

Picture: Uncle Tony and Nuri. A beautiful picture of them both.

My mobile phone has been acting up and I just found out why I was not getting any replies to my texts being sent; there is a problem with the sending of my texts. I am going to sort that out tomorrow by contacting my provider and see what can be done. Then it will be, text away, text away!

I started my PGCE course (teacher's college) on Monday and the first week was totally mind warping. So much information to absorb, but very, very interesting. I can see that I am going to enjoy the content of the course immensely, but know that it will be very challenging to keep up with all the work and to absorb everything that I need to become the best teacher that I can.

I already have my first school placement. It is at Ridgway High School on the Wirral. It will take me at least an hour or so to get there each day, but I guess the 3 hours a day in Seoul, South Korea, on the buses and subways was good practice to prepare me for anything similar. I travelled like that for 2 years straight, so this will be easy compared to that. All about perspective, as t

hey say! I will be there with another trainee from my class, so that should make things a lot easier, as we will be able to help each other with any problems either work related or school rel

ated. I am really looking forward to getting into a school and getting stuck in to teaching. I love teaching and am looking forward to the challenges that will come with teaching French and Spanish. It will be a grand challenge, but I am up f or it!

Picture: My favourite Iceland Store bag!

I have decided to quit drinking for a whole year. That is right! A whole year! It is a two-fold plan. The first is to do something to honour Nuri and the other is to see how healthy I feel with no alcohol in my system after a year. I have not been clean of booze for at least the last 5 years, so let's see. Also, an added benefit is that I will not be wasting money, which I have very little of, on senseless drinking and of course having no hangovers. Let's see how it goes, anyway. It has been 4 weeks now and I know that I can do it. I quit smoking 4 years ago, so I know that when I decide to do something, I generally stick to the task at hand.

I am enjoying my flat after having been away for all of July and all of August. In July, I was teaching English in Portsmouth and Norwich and in August, I went home to be with my sister and my family for the whole month for comfort and support. It was a great decision and although I now feel guilty being so far away, know that it is always better when things go back to somewhat normal for the family.

Picture: Some of my colleagues while I was teaching down south.

My flat really feels like home now and I am making it more comfortable all the time. I have the internet and TV here, so what more do I need really.....haha. I am enjoying living by the park and have started getting back into shape again. Due to circumstances, I was only able to run maybe half a dozen times and work out 2 times over the last 8 weeks plus. I have started running again this week and had my first workout yesterday. Once my body adapts to the small workouts, I will begin the full workouts again and will run everyday when my body conditions itself again. I figure that will take about 3 or 4 weeks and then it is full blast ahead.

I have started eating well again and have cut out all fried foods and any junk. It is just a question of eating healthier and maintaining the same healthy choices no matter what situation arises. I was inspired by my son, Tyler, who has lost about 45 pounds and looks fabulous. I use people both to feed off of and also to inspire, if able.

I have been getting up at 7am everyday, which has taken a bit of getting used to, but down south while I was teaching, had similar hours, so that helped also. I used to get up at 5am for about 8 years a long time ago, so my body is used to it, I just have to get it back into the swing again. I am at school for the next 2 weeks everyday, then once I start my placement, I am at university every Monday and Tuesday and the rest of the week at the school.

It is nice to be surrounded by football and in the country where it is almost like a religion. I love the fact of being able to watch Sky Sports News and also Match of The Day. It is awesome!

Enough for now. Hope that I have not bored my readers too much. I am finding it therapeutical to write about things right now and am going to try my best to keep blogging consistently.