Life and All of Its Choices!

The times in our lives and the times that we tend to value it, are when 'STUFF' happens. It is human nature to become complacent and although I try my best to not be that way, of course I have been.

I had some shocking news that I would not like to air on the airwaves, but suffice to say that it has brought me down to earth with a massive boom. The personal experiences that I have had in my life have prepared me somewhat to deal with what has happened, but the biggest support I continue to have are from my family. Don't worry, this is not an issue about my health or well-being, but has an emotional bearing on me and my life.

I am getting the support and giving the support where it is needed and I am so happy to be able to say that my family are quite frankly fantastic. Honesty in my family has always been the strong point and continues to excel to this day. Honesty has set me free in all areas of my life and it has allowed me to become the person that I am today. I am proud of the integrity that I live my life with and I hope that transcends to all of my friends and colleagues that I encounter in all areas of my life.



LFC............they are driving me mad at the moment. They play so well right up to the 18 yard box, then nothing! We need a goalscorer and until that happens, we will continue to struggle to score unless Suarez and Carroll can all of a sudden recreate some magic and start scoring. Downing, too, has to start putting the ball in the net. I hope we can progress in the FA Cup and get to the final and have another wonderful final to watch. The Carling Cup Final drove me mad and almost killed me...............lol. We won, but Liverpool made me grit my teeth right to the end.

Great news on the job front. I have been told that I will finish out the school year where I am at and that means I will have a full year of teaching experience to add to my resume at the start of next year. I am thrilled to continue to be learning and to grow as a teacher and an educator. I have my moments when I am a bit annoyed with the kids and a bit stressed, but overall I love what I am doing and continue to forge relationships with all of my students and try to help them succeed in their academic travails.

My part-time job is going great. Rid of It Junk Removal. I have worked there for going on about 6 months and I started full-time and now work every weekend. When school finishes at the end of June, I will be working full-time all summer as I don't get paid for the 10 weeks we get off as a teacher. That will only happen if and when I get a full-time permanent position, which might take a while. I can wait! The job at Rid of It is physical and I love that about it. I also have gotten to know Toronto so well.....inside out, really. We travel as far north as Vaughan and as far east as Pickering, west to Burlington or Oakville and cover the whole of the GTA central. I love meeting people and going to their houses and dehoarding them of all their stuff. I feel like I am contributing to cleaning up society and also enjoy the workout.

Talking about workouts...........I am back on the health wagon again after slumping badly over the last 4 months or so. I need to eat healthier and have the new motto now, taken from the show, The Biggest Loser: NO MORE EXCUSES!!!

There will be no more excuses and I will be the healthiest I can be without being obsessed about it as I have been for many years. I need to balance exercise with good eating habits and good rest habits. The rest will fall into place.

John and I are going to see Iron Maiden!!! Can't wait, dude. I have loved Maiden all my life and now have the opportunity to go see them with Alice Cooper as the back-up............bonus!

Also will be going to see The Scorpions, both concerts are in July, so July is going to be an awesome month............can't wait.

The weather is supposed to go up to +11 today from -15 on the weekend. Looks like spring is just around the corner and sneaking its beautiful head out! I am looking forward to lighter mornings and longer nights. This is going to be a great spring and summer and I have nothing but ambition to look forward to. All the best to all of you and stay safe and healthy.

Surviving all the doubts of life!

People say, whoever those people are, that writing your feelings helps you get some clarity in your everyday thoughts. Well, I guess those people never talked to someone that was too lazy to write!
I have been struggling the last few months to really get a grip of what I want to do and what I need to do and what it is that I am really doing...........................

Don't get me wrong, this is not me whining or complaining, but I just don't know what it is I am trying to put my finger on. It seems at times that I am very happy and focused with my life and then boom....................I am confused and second guessing myself about everything. Why? What is it that I want for myself? Does anyone else feel this way? I mean, I know that people suffer with this form of stress constantly, but I guess I am just asking if it is as bad as I do?

I like my life at the moment, but feel there is something missing.................but what? I know that not having any friends to hang out with is bothering me, but I am hoping that will change sometime soon, once the weather breaks and I can go out more often and actually meet people while I am out and about.

I am not interested in having a girl-friend at all. Listen to me, like I could pick and choose to have one or not.........lol. I just want to have some friends to hang out with and shoot the shit and maybe get drunk and go karoake or stuff. At the present time, I have none of that and maybe that is because I need to try harder or just get out of the house once in a while!

Ageing is one thing that I constantly struggle with. Am I attractive still with all the wrinkles and the drooping.....lol. Am I able to attract a nice woman, do I have enough to warrant interest..........I know it sounds ridiculous, as I always preach that confidence comes from within, but all I am doing is getting it out and writing down what I feel sometimes. I don't feel like this all the time, but it is the creeping in of these feelings that is beginning to bother me. Am I just bored? Do I need to do more or less or what...................

Anyway, enough for now. I am not the type to harp on myself constantly, although according to my family, I am always complaining......................lol. I guess I need to work on that and work on that and work on that and work on that....................fuck!

I am going to try and blog a bit more and make it available on Facebook. I think it will be a little bit more therapeutic if I do that. Oh yeah, I am going to London this weekend and going out for the first time in about 4 months to a place with women in it...........how sad is that! Maybe I will get my mojo back.......hope so.....and Liverpool had better win the Carling Cup and bring us a long awaited trophy back to the showcase with the others. YNWA.

Peace out, everyone!

Still Plodding Away Looking For Work!

I have not blogged in such a long time, but decided that I should at least try and blog something to keep my life in perspective.

To say that my life has been challenging over the last 8 months or so is putting it lightly! I am loving being back in Canada and love the place, but filing to get my teacher's papers and trying to find work in between has been the biggest challenge of all.

I filed for my qualifications to be recognized by The Ontario College of Teachers in October 2010, a month after I arrived here. I finally got my OCT licence two weeks away. I am now officially able to teach from Grade 7 to Grade 12 French and Spanish. I also was given an FSL accreditation, which is a great thing to have!

So now I have been applying for some jobs and let me stress SOME jobs. The jobs out there are all different with the boards and each has its own application process. I have applied to the Peel Board, the Durham Board and the Toronto District School Board. I am going to apply to the Toronto Catholic School Board, too, but need to meet with a priest to get a signature from him to prove I am a Catholic.

I have worked power-washing floor on a midnight shift, worked for Cadbury's Chocolate for two weeks, unloaded some trucks for Sportschek, did some door to door sales.......all temporary crap really............lol.

I have an interview on Monday for 1-800- Get Rid of It............let's see how that goes.

Enough for now. I am going to try and blog some more, but until then the Gypsy is still in the nest!

Update Time!

I have been back in Canada since September 10th and it is now fast approaching 5 months! Wow! Where did that time go? I know where..................doing lots of things and trying to hold out for the next phase of my life.

Let's just take a look at some of the things that I have done since I got back here. I have completed two medical test trials a.k.a. Guinea Pig..............lol. I have painted a couple of houses. I painted one for my sister's friend and actually painted the whole house including all the trim. The other house, I painted the bottom floor and the

upstairs hallway and landing and the baseboards and trim.

I spent the first Christmas here since 2003, which was quite enjoyable althou

gh a little quiet. It was difficult for my sister still and she mentioned that she is going to have to change it up next year as it is too upsetting having Christmas at her house like when Nuri was still alive. We all miss him like crazy and there isn't a day that goes by that we all still don't miss him.

It is a little strange for me sometimes because I feel a bit weird being in his house knowing that he will not come walking through the door! I am okay with things, but if I feel that way, I can't imagine what my sister and the kids must feel like. Anyway, we all got through Xmas and we continue to find our own ways of handling our issues and just plod along and wish for the best.

I am still waiting for my criminal check, which is in its 15th week. It is absolutely ridiculous that I applied for a check on October 4th last year and am still waiting for it to come through. It is th

e only documentation that The Ontario College of Teachers are waiting on to start processing my file and get my certification. It may even still take 3 more month for them to do that. I just have to keep telling myself to be patient and that things cannot be rushed that are out of your control. I even went and saw my MP to see if anything could be done and his representative said that they are aware of the ongoing problem with everyone's checks and that there was nothing that they could do. Typical answer when it comes to man-power that could solve the backlog, but the action never bears fruit.

I am enjoying being back in Canada, but miss the contacts of friends as I really don't have any around here that I hang out with. I am being careful with my money and trying not to go out at all. I talk to one of my friends from Korea, Rob occasionally as he has moved back here, too. I also talk to Clement who lives in Quebec and just married a Korea girl after going to Korea and doing the civil ceremony. He is going to have a proper little ceremony once she comes here and they are planning on a small party and he has asked me to be his best man, which I accepted with honor. We talk about future plans and what stress we have here adjusting back to "NORMAL" living..............lol.

The plan is to try and do another medical test and hope that my criminal check will come through soon and I can get going on my future as a teacher, which seems a little surreal at the moment. Almost as though it will never happen and it is a pipe-dream. I know things will get better, but can't wait to start the next adventure of my life, here in Canada.

I am keeping the weight off that I lost and have got the right idea about counting calories now and think I am in the best shape that I have been in, in a long time. I have been a little lax in some of the areas of my diet, but overall, I think I am doing an okay job. I still want to lose about 15 more pounds to get closer to the 205 target that I want to reach. I am at 220 at the moment and staying there consistently, but I think my body fat is getting lower all the time.

Once I move into my own place, I can eat more like the style I want and be in more of a routine. I will feel then that my life is going in the right direction then and won't be as skeptical as I am at the moment.

The weather has been very cold of late, but that doesn't bother me in the least. I like the cold and the snow and have promised myself to never knock Canada about the weather ever again............lol.

The Leafs have been disappointing and they don't look good enough to make the playoffs. I hope that they can improve after the all star break, but who knows! Liverpool are doing better under King Kenny and they look like they are happier and have more confidence. Let's hope they can finish in a European spot by the end of the season and that we sign some class players before the end of January..............god knows we need them!

I am keeping my hand in correcting English essays from one of my Korean friends who has her own business. She sends me about a dozen or so a week and I correct them all. I enjoy doing it and it keeps me in the right frame of mind and I feel like a teacher. The other thing that is hard here in Canada is not having a car and that is even to help find jobs. I will never be in this situation ever again! I will get my own place, my own car and a nice nest egg of money behind me before I decide to ever travel and live overseas again. Once bitten, twice shy..............more like dozens of times...........my fault, though and I have to learn from my mistakes!

I am studying Italian on my own now. It has been a language that I was always interested in and with me speaking Spanish already, it is much easier to learn, although it is like any new language; very challenging. I am keeping up with my French and Spanish skills and am keeping up a little with my Greek and Portuguese. I also bought a book called "Arabic for Dummies." I will have a go at learning a bit of it on my own and hopefully will advance myself a bit with Sanskrit.

Not doing much else to keep myself busy, just plodding along. Going to the gym, looking after myself and doing my best to be a good father, son, brother, uncle and friend. Paying things forward is the best way to keep yourself going and that is why sometime this week, I am going to volunteer somewhere to help out people and to keep myself busy. I had made that as one of my goals last year to volunteer in the near future and that is about to happen very, very soon.

It's Been Ages!

Well, it's been a long, long time since I posted anything on my blog. Here goes!
I am back in Canada and am living with my sister and my niece. Things are going great, but I am still waiting for my criminal record check, which has taken over 11 weeks!
I need it as the last bit of criteria for my application to the Ontario College of Teachers and once they receive it, it can still take up to 120 days to assess my application and be issued an interim certificate, which will allow me to get on a s.upply list and start teaching French and hopefully Spanish sometime in the future.
The waiting is the hardest part, but all good things come to those who wait. Nothing else going on other than a great Xmas, totally chilled with the family and my sister and I are going down to London to spend New Year's Eve with our Mum and Dad. Should be fun and we have a few games that we want to play.
Jackie and I leave to get the 4.30 train on Friday afternoon and then get into London about 9pm. We return to Oshawa on Sunday, the 2nd and get in about 4pm.
I wish everyone a great new year and all the best of fortune both health wise and life wise for 2011. May all your dreams and ambitions continue to keep you dreaming about the future.

2010 A New Year And New Challenges

The new year is here and it has just flown by, to tell you the truth. I can't believe what changes I have made again. I will give you just a brief synopsis of what happened personally in 2009.

Left Korea at the end of April and arrived in Liverpool at the start of May. Found a flat about a week later and moved into it almost 8 days after I had arrived here. Had the interview to get into the PGCE program and was accepted into the program to begin in September.

Found a job teaching English for the summer for all of July and spent 2 weeks in Portsmouth and then 2 weeks in Norwich. Then returned to Liverpool right at the end of July and 3 days later had to leave to go to Canada due to the shocking death of my dear brother-in-law, Nuri.

Spent all of August in Canada and returned to Liverpool at the very beginning of September. Started my PGCE at John Moores and am still in the process of completing it, which will be at the end of June this year.

There have been ups and downs for sure, the worst of which was definitely the death of family members. There was the loss of my Uncle Tony who died after having a stroke taking his luggage of the conveyor belt while in Spain. The death of my Auntie Margaret who struggled with cancer before finally reaching her own peace. Then the sudden, shocking death of my brother-in-law who was only 52 and had no previous health issues.

I have chosen to deal with their deaths by celebrating their lives and not mourning their deaths. We will all miss them so much, but we need to celebrate their lives and keep them in our hearts and minds for as long as we live so their souls carry on in this physical world.

I am looking forward to the challenges and excitement that lay ahead and will carry on with my attitude of positiveness no matter what. My main aim this year is to finish my PGCE and then start working as a full-time or part-time teacher, whichever I am able to do. Make some money and start saving a little to have a safety blanket behind me. This is going to be the last time that I intentionally choose to have no money, doing my PGCE that is!

I am not sure what the year ahead holds, but am willing to take them on head first. Whatever comes in my way, I will deal with both good and bad and I will give all the support possible to my family and friends at all times.

I want to make sure that I am in Canada every xmas from now on to be with my family. That is a short term plan and who knows, maybe go back there more often to visit, if I can.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope that only health, wealth and prosperity cross your path now and in the future. All the best to your and your family and friends.

Christmas and Almost 2010!

It has been a hectic last four months and I don't know where the time has gone. With school and school placement and all the studying and researching that I have been doing, I haven't found any time or had the desire to want to blog. I am writing this blog while waiting for my cousin's husband to come and pick me up on Christmas Day and to spend the day with the family.

I spoke to my Mum and Dad last night and our Jackie. They went to see The Sound of Music at the theatre. They said it was brilliant and felt like Nuri was there...........

It is going to be a tough Christmas for the family, but they will get through it as I know they can. It is the first xmas without Nuri, my dearly beloved brother-in-law. Also, Uncle Tony will not be here physically with his family in England......Nuri and Uncle Tony will always be here with us spiritually for all of our lives. That I know to be the truth!

My son is spending xmas up in Toronto with my sister's family and my Mum and Dad, which is a first! I feel quite sad that I can't be with them, but am going to try and make this the last xmas that I spend away from them. I am going to try and go to Canada every xmas from now on.

Xmas has always been a 'bah humbug' time of year for me in the past decade or so, but I am really getting past all of that now and just enjoying the time off and the special time that it is meant to be spending time with family and friends. I am little isolated here as far as friends go, but that will come with time. I have family here and try to see them as often as I can, but it is still difficult this time of year as they have their own families and their own schedules. Plus, I have been away for so long, I am kind of the prodigal cousin..........lol.

Our Gill was kind enough to invite me there for dinner and the day. I will be staying overnight and then tomorrow, we are all going to Yvonne's to spend Boxing Day. I am looking forward to just hanging out with family and having a good laugh. I have been on my own for the last 3 days, just kind of going through the motions. Watching movies, surfing the net, doing a bit of studying, sleeping, going to the gym. You get the gist of it..........lol.

I have put myself in this position, so I can't complain too much about it, can I? I have been moving around so much in the last decade. Few years in Canada, few years in Korea, back and forth to England and now living here. What can I expect, eh? Anyway, it sucks a bit being on your own this time of year, but I am well used to the alone bit, just the family times of year can be a bit harder. I don't worry too much about it, just get on with it. A new adventure as they say............every year!

I want to get my degree and teach here for at least 2 years, save some money and then off I go again. I am a gypsy and 2 years for any gypsy is a while. I don't know what the plan is, but I will have some money behind me before I decide to move again, that is one thing that I am going to make sure of. Don't want to be skint ever again and am going to do my foremost not to ever put myself in that position again. Should be well sorted with being a qualified teacher and be able to get a job anywhere in the world. Sounds so grandiose, doesn't it! I think it does or should I say, STILL think it does. I love being around the world and only at these times of year, but like I said, no matter where I am in the world, I am going to be with my family at xmas from now on, especially my son!

Enough for now. Getting off before I get too soppy. I will try and blog more in the new year, but can't promise too much. So busy with school. Half done, though. That is the good news. End of June, I will be a qualified French and Spanish high school teacher. God, that sounds so good!

Merry Xmas to all and a Happy New Year!