Today was one of mixed emotions. Kyoung Hee finally left to go back to Ulsan, her home town. I was relieved that she was gone, but at the same time, I was also a bit angry at myself for getting myself into the situation.
I feel bad that I have hurt her, but I also hurt myself in the long run. I realize now that I am nowhere near ready to share my life with anyone else. I don't like answering to anyone and I certainly love my own space and have become very selfish about it..... I guess!!!!!!
I feel sorry that I hurt another human being and will do my damnest to never do it again. I know that Kyoung Hee will have a better life with someone else and I wish her all the best in her future endeavours. We shared the last year and a half together. Some of the times were good, some others not so good, but we shared a big part of oru lives over the last little while. I hope that she finds herself. I have already done that, but just keep making the same stupid mistakes....... attachment being one of them.
I need to just be at the moment and let my life evolve the way it should. Try not to force anything and live for the moment, but be a good person doing it. I don't count hurting another person as being a good person. As you can see, it is just a part of me that dislikes doing harm to another human being.
That is why today was one of mixed emtions. I am not sorry that I have ended the relationship. I am actually thrilled. It is nice to have my own place to myself again and am even enjoying typing this blog more than I have in the past ones.
I can now get back to my original plan. That is to save a shitload of money while I am here and just have no plan at all, other than seeing my family once a year and having as much fun everyday that I can.
I am still going to the gym, so that is keeping me focused and of course still enjoying my job, although it has been a bit tiring the last couple of weeks due to the workload.
The summer schedule starts next Monday and as usual we will get a day's notice of our schedule. The first class starts at 10am and the last class finishes at 8pm.
That doesn't mean we will be working all those hours. There may be a split shift thrown in there and sometimes like 2 or 3 hours between classes. We are allowed to go home or do whatever and when our last class is done, we can leave.
Saying that, I think I will have two days where I start at 2pm and finish at 8pm, which is fine with me. I don't know about any of the other days..... we shall see.
It is my lovely Sister's birthday on Friday and I only wish I could have been in Canada to share it with her......... or do I really...... just joking. I will see her in February along with the rest of the family when I finish my one year contract in Bundang. I hope she has a great day and has her usual smile all day long.
My Sister is such a wonderful caring person, she really is quite unbelievable at times. Her personality shines like a beacon of light. Everyone that has ever met her loves her. What can I say? It runs in the family. We are all charmers..... haha.
Anyway, she is turning 44 on Friday, July 21st..... She is my older Sister..... hehe... only by 18 months though! My Dad says she was planned and I was Houdini.....get it? I just sneaked in there.
Time to go get some winks now in my BIG bed. It feels so nice to just sleep on my own....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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