Death Is A Part Of Life...... Sadly Enough.

Two good friends of mine have lost a parent recently. My deepest condolences go out to both them and their family and friends.

Rob lost his father suddenly, with no warning at all. His father was diagnosed with cancer and they told him that he would have about 3 months or so to live. Within 2 or 3 weeks, he died. Luckily for Rob, he made it back from Korea and went to the hospital to see his dad. He told me that once he got there he sat with his dad and then left. 4 hours later his dad passed away.

I didn't know what to say at the time to him, but wished him strength and courage to get through the loss of a parent.

I once had a conversation with my Dad. He said that although his mother died around 20 odd years ago, he has never gotten over it. He thinks about her even today and said that when you lose a mother or father, the memories should always remain in your heart and mind.
Regardless, it is not easy and he said that he wished he could just talk to her once in a while.

My other friend Tony, just lost his mother two days or so ago. Tony was very very close to her and even said that he was a mommy's boy. Dave recieved an email yesterday saying that she had died and had died in his arms. He is in a very solemn state right now and I can only wish him the same as Rob; that he will find the strength and courage to get through this time also. I hope he keeps all the good memories and lessons that his mother taught him.

I count myself very lucky that both of my parents are alive and healthy and try not to think about anything negative in the future. However, the events in my friends' lives have made me realize how important it is to STILL have a great relationship with my family and take the extra time to email and call and of course see them.

I am not happy at the present moment about the amount of time that I have not seen my Sister or Mum and Dad. By the time I go back to visit Canada in February, it will have been over 30 months since I saw them.

I will make sure that this does not happen EVER again. I promised myself that I would go home and see them at the end of every one year contract. Even if it is for a couple of weeks. That is what is important to me now and I want to make sure that I heed my own advice.

My Mum lost her mother and father within a period of 6 weeks or so. I cannot imagine how difficult that must have been.

We had only just emigrated to Canada at that time and it must have been extremely difficult having to suffer on her own. She had my father of course, but it must have been a very tough time for her with no brothers or sisters around.

I now realize, being an older adult and of course more mature, how strong my Mum is and what strength of character and determination she has in her personality.

My father also lost his father very young. He was in his 20s when my grandfather Campbell died.

I have one brief memory of my grandfather. I was beside his bed and he was asking me for something. I was only 3 or 4 years old, so it is amazing that I can even remember anything from that period.

Again, my Dad had to suffer through a tough time and he has told me stories about my grandfather's life and trials and tribulations.

My Mum and Dad have always talked about death as being a part of life. Their stories and advice have always helped me put things into perspective.

My Mum told me a story about her grandmother before she died and how her grandmother told her not to be afraid of her when she was dead; meaning her body. My Mum said that she sat beside her grandmother after she had died and was not scared at all.

I guess the reason that I am writing about this kind of stuff is due to the fact that my friends are going through a tough time right now. I cannot relate to how they feel.

I was upset when my Grandad and Nanna McCarthy died and my Nanna Campbell, but I was only 14 when my Mum's parents died and 19 and at a very selfish time in my life when my Nanna Campbell died.

I do however remember my cousin Dominique who died of cancer when she was 4 or 5. I remember thinking what a strange world it was that a young baby like her had to die. How unjust it was and how strange God worked at that time.

I think that was the catalyst for me to be an atheist. I couldn't believe that God could take a young child from the grasps of life and its parents. I know it sounds obscene, but I could never keep believing in any God after the death of Dominique. She also had a sister Laura who died when she was only 1 year old. Of course, Dominique never knew Laura, but she was told stories about her by my uncle Domenic and Auntie Anne.

My Uncle and Aunt had to endure the deaths of two of their children and amazingly enough now have 2 healthy boys. Our Jonathan is in his mid-twenties now and finished university and is doing very well for himself. Our David is earlier twenties and is a Seargeant in the police force now. He is also about 6'4".

I hope that my Mum and Dad will be around for a long time to come and I know that sounds very selfish. Isn't that what every child would wish though? But if and when the time comes, I will have no regrets about the relationship that I have or had with them and I will be forever grateful to them for giving me the gift of life and love.

My parents are the root of my life and I feel blessed to have such a strong family tree that raised me into adulthood with such good qualities and strengths.

My deepest sympathies to everyone that reads this blog that has lost loved ones. I wish you the strength and courage everyday to live your life to the fullest and to cherish the time with your family and friends. Enjoy your life and make fun a big part of it everyday. Live your life thinking of something larger than your own life. I mean, give to others freely and willingly your time and of course your love.

Be the human being that you can be......... always!!!!!!!!!!