Personal Anger Or What?

I find myself contemplating my feelings on a regular basis and am trying to 'fine tune' myself to be the healthiest human being I can, both physically and the hardest part of all, emotionally.

I find the emotion of anger, although useful at the appropriate times, is a useless emotion most of the other times. I can find so many things to be angry about and can justify every single one of them to myself. Saying that though, does it really solve anything?

If anger changed things and brought about a settlement within myself, then it would be a most useful emotion. However, that never seems to transpire and therefore the whole emotional rollercoaster ends up being moot.

I am trying my best this week especially, to not be angry at silly little things. To me of course they are not silly, but in the grand scheme of life, they are very silly. I need to just chill out and give some of the same " I don't give a shit attitude about whatever" that other people give towards life.

Saying that, I will not lose my integrity of course and will not succumb to end up at the same level as they are. I will however, try to stop taking things so personally.

A prime example is about the people that I work with. Only one person when they enter the office ever says hello to everyone in the office. Of course that person is Tony who I gave a shout out to on my blog the other day.

It drives me mad, but now I realize that there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. So therefore, I will come into the office and say hello when I enter, as I usually do, but as far as when other people come in, I will not turn around or make an effort to say hello to them unless they say hello of course.

I will not be angry about it, I will just accept it for what it is. It means nothing really, to most people, but it is tantamount to treason for me. It will be a good test of my resolve and something that I can use to build upon and let other things just happen without trying to wrong the rights of the world.

I may sound like I am just babbling, but I hope there are some of you that understand what I am saying. Maybe it is just a culture thing, i.e. European culture versus North American culture..... I really am not sure.... any comments would be appreciated....... help me understand..... hehe.

Today is Tuesday and kind of a relaxing day, no 4 straight classes, so I can breathe a little while still doing my work. I am at work now and have finished my preparations for the classes. I think that I am going to have one of my classes 'observed' today, so I have the added stress of that........ not really..... just joking.

It is actually normal to have classes observed, but I have only had one done since I have been here, which is now almost 10 months.

The last time I had one done, I got a great review and hopefully I will get another good one today. It will help me get a great reference too for when I come back to another school after my nice 5 or 6 week vacation in Canada and Europe.

Meeting Dave tonight for a drink and looking forward to just chilling in a place away from the four walls of my apartment. I like my own space, but we all need a break away from the same old same old.